Getting Tough

I’ve never signed up to be a leader, and managing people is something that I’m still growing into. My personality is not an aggressive or straightforward one, and putting people in their place is still often a weird thing for me. As a content manager, and then as a teacher, I’ve been thrust into it several times now, and literally handed the keys. It’s been a series of wonderful opportunities, making me less of a backward and quiet person, and allowing for the development of skills I might not have sought to develop if left to my own devices.

The challenge now, though, is that I’m in a position where I am expected to clean house and lead a demoralized band of stragglers into bold new territory. The organization and vision aspects of it make sense, though they’re work at times. But convincing people to make serious changes of habit is honestly a challenge, even when it seems obvious (to outsiders, at least) that changes are in someone’s best interest. The cultural attitudes in this region, and the weight of the baggage and inertia some people are carrying, is daunting at times.

I find myself getting tougher and challenging individuals more and more, but I know that it’s still too little. Being the jerk is not an appealing thing, though I have been able to use sarcasm and humor to my advantage to make some people think I really am an ass. I did lose my temper last week and I was embarrassed; it’s a different kind of approach for me… it’s still foreign. Letting righteous anger and the piss and vinegar rise to a boil... Thinking one can always lead by example is not a realistic approach! Though I still prefer it. :)